the whole jolly experiment of my life has been this..

I love my family (undefined)

I love my friends (undefined)

I will give a damn (undefined)
I will care about the real( undefined)
I will finally be ( undefined)

 and so will all of the... 
 ( friends family love doughnuts lint in my pocket favourite tree crunchy bit of burrito laugh; uninteded beach surf, cold snout - cold lovers feet,crackling logs ) four friends come and ruin it better.
i will shake your hand

hopefully shake your head

your big words; hopefully, trump mine
my clock is ticking


Shake my hand
shake my mind
introduce me to "else"
every"else"

 I have never been more scared of anything than this

never cowered 

never covered my eyes

watched my words ..trained my tone

never censored my own thoughts untill now

changed my walk ,my talk my engagement with you.( the real)

 imagine an environment , a menu of options and experiences an Idea

Imagine that these tools are given into your hands

 and 

PLAY ON 

n

its just not you. not real . not a game . 

would u quit?

for what its worth

...that sentence in itself can devolve and evolve into meaning and constraints

"..that is..this is.. your choice.. yup that's it . lets argue this point
 make a u-(vs) I verse about it
lets be objective realists and subjectively argue these points...THIS point (my bad .. ACTION!)aargg"


ok, My fault (the least of them )  is that I drink and write to jazz.. OK thats a lie ,! I called it first so Iam innocent write? right?. the bloody gloves DO fit?  everyones a critic... there is no happy ending to this
just ..Yes! happy ending.. oooowwee!!.. it was always in your hands 


lets just say that the epiphany is a given
the"OOOO MY .." is a given
It is a sensual
 Mathematics
It is the furry gliss
your {interesting words} natch your merry ways
find glowbulbs and luster in glundary plays
tingling nerve burns of sugar and spice
translate juicy gusts in planetary hobo dust.

when meaning is found in seaming  we break away from the fake feel and become truants of  that  lock chain  real that is upbringing
and when blur is truly see
and the smear of life lies in /undefined picasso paint, gut punch  not cool .true cool BE

And these words are ours ," till meaning and sound are me
                         me till the guttaral clutch..
                                                        clench
                                                                feel of the beast body of  being
connects

("till true life Spiral Spi Ritual
flies and flings. centrist fugal, feacal, monkey shit at the walls and at the subject objective stares of detatched ejecta of clever minds)

I have never acknowledged this

But there is a darkness that has for some frivolous reason
 laid claim
 I see darkness
I pretend it is not

 it is a burning acid in my chest
And In my lowest moments
it glows

 It seeks my shadows
 and makes them grow


i t happens to us all

i t g r o w s

i n s h a d o w s

it is the unacknowledged self

it feeds off your confusion , doubt , paranoia and ego

it describes you by your lack

it will devil you always

and you ignore your demons at your own peril...(.that's your selling point lol)

own yourself


you are every thing. from the glorious to the stink

make sure you are in harmony
 stop wrestling your demons
 there are none , until you make  them
 ..you are FEARFULLY  and WONDERFULLY  MADE


there is no threat you cannot challenge
 no paradise you will not kill to defend
 no verse you will not sing
unless u choose not to

wake up
 it's like weed
           you get so involved in that
 miracle of understanding .

wake up

 its not about escape

wake up

its not a teenage  dream

 wake up

its not utopia

wake up

 its not the stories we tell
 though they are wayy cool\


wake up

 there is no judgement except  your ability to crate a better world but still
in absence of faith
 choose selfish indulgence

wake up.

you are the power


wake up

you are that power

make / create / imagine a better world

wake up

live it

wake up

and be


wake


up

this is not a blog

What I write is extremely subjective stop what I feel is also extremely subjective stop what you understand is also subject to stop existence is subjective stop we communicate between rooms quantum Leone's stop that's the last time I will ever use that word stop life is love glasses more truth stop but he couldn't help but distance ourselves. Once we have identity stop the branch off the main street stop once we have free will. This is the truth of why Christians stop this branch has free will stop

thoughts

I am

Nothing is more or less

Dirty Projectors - Dance For You

I just realized how much of my identity is about about absence, and the walls I put up..

Let me rephrase
Alot I f my identity WAS.. About walls
An absence of self..WAS ,"myself"

I have spent a whole chunk of m u existence supporting and enabling my fears. And unconditional love has allowed this.

Now thati finally see, I am left speechless at the gift that love is.

Love is the nature of existence, it is the meaning of life. Trite but true, it is the energy that gives endlessly and unconditionally

I am giving my love to you all
It is all I have
It is all I am
And I love you


I have searched , sought and struggled
I have sought meaning and reason.
I Have made deals with devils
 Have betrayed my angels seeking
And I love you


I have sought substance
Looked for purpose
Found and lost religion
Questioned God


At the end of the day
All we are is love
The love we give
the love we receive
The love we feel
The love we share

And I.Love.You

its been awhile and I had a dream

and the stream I was Reminded me.

There is a trick to this reality and the trick a Is simple ,it requires you doubting your potential, it requires you believing that you were in need
You walk like a zombie asleep never knowing you are aware, you
 assume you have no value and require external validation, think you need validation hence peer pressure, hence fear and shame; hence guilt ,hence control mechanisms that require your loyalty and continued proof of value...an economy of lack ,doubt and shame,

I am

you forgot that every experience was your choice.
 you
 become a victim instead of an explorer .
Become a thief instead of an adventurer.
 you become lost when you never ever needed to be found.

You were always within the light ,
you were  always a God in your own right

I have been reminded, to do good and to speak of good,
I have been reminded that there is a battle to be fought and glories to behold
I have been reminded to shed.my veil of darkness
 Reminded to laugh! Be joyous again
I have been reminded to
 Do good ,
Speak and see good and hurtle like a star,into the dark
I have been reminded to the reason I have any limitations
I have been reminded
That I am
So I ,laugh and shout
I have
Cried and wept enough I think
But now I remember
And in remembering I am glad
This life is for living
Illumine me
And I will be me
Its like shadows and mist tho, like me spiderwebs and dusk,
Broken mirrors replace reflection
And I feel that much has been lost in my absence

Yet
I am home
And in the broken shards of my reflection
I see myself smiling!




I will see good
I will speak of good
I will awaken what is lost

We seem to see the dark all the time,but we must remember, the universe is blazing in wavelengths of light, that in limitation, in life ,we forget but the truth that's is our caged souls, remembers


Now that the time of true choice comes again
Now that will and spirit must aspire or be bound to desires
Now xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Seek
Ask
Knock

If you are sincere, humble and truthful,
Hey, even if you are just sincere
Ask. Knock. Enter
There is no prerequisite


Be the light

And for all of you in the dark


Remember