I used to be limitless in thought and act
then for some reason I got scared and fought back
Hard
I gave as good as I got
Ii became heartless enough and fear full enough
 I equalled and excelled at balancing the monsters out

Then backed away

I thought I had won

 turns out all I have done is build a dam
 a flaming wall to keep "life" at bay

it was a genius move!
...
for the short term

Now I see myself at a distance.
 a hollowed out husk

that battled itself almost to the death


So I WILL reconnect with the stars and the seas
I WILL reconnect with my sadness and joys and fears
I WILL reconnect with my loved ones and my Dreams
my lost soul

I will remind myself what the words Father,Mother,Brother, Friend, Mean
I will not treat my grief as disease
but embrace it as the embers of what burns most fiercely once accepted and held close;
Love
The burning light of THEE
the whole being
that is ME