my people die for lack of knowledge
i am drowning for lack of language
i am laughing at this comedy
of beingness

I'd invite you to join me
but you are already here
i would give you whatever you want to enlighten the party but
you are already here
'nuff said

i almost spoke .
i almost knew

missive from

we have tried over and over
to tell you
            to show you what life is worth

when it was wisdom
               we showed you (ignorance)
when it is dominion
                  we are(Gods)
when it is loss
            we traded in new algorythms of pain
an  underhand humour :) a chaotic Link to hurt
  we show you
      we show you
we show you:

how to cry

how to laugh

how to dance

how to make every step you take a dance

a harmonic tease

we speak in suggestive tongues

 not wanting to deny you of our own path.

..our ultimate gift?

!discovery!

we have tried over and over

to      tell you!

               TO
                       show you!


what life is .>>?worth?<<

In every place that needs birth , we are the midwives
In all places that need a ground for you to stand on we bury you deep
a place from which you felt uplifted we throw you down
we were
         simply----byzantine
          softly---- just

for each tale you needed told .We have borne it
 for we are the first story tellers
the Honest liars
we are what u have called" ----------------"

but truth be told
you behold our creations
and we are yours


you knew not then that what IS ..IS !
we stand here even as you choose to be there
for your tears
your pain and your suffering we are here

And when you need to grieve we inject those noxious poisons
  in your veins
we are the blood shed
the  haunting cries in the veldt
   your triumph over your humanity
and the crushing guilt
     of your success
we are the doormen in the club "Futility" and "pride"
and we clean up after you
and if only you could think
"STOP"
that would be  enough

if only you could describe less
and Ascribe more to yourselves

Be More seek less



then ..
and only then

thank you

this joy in my heart
thank you
this fear i feel
thank you
 this love that i feel
thank you
 that you re here with me always
thank you
 that nothing is
but you
thank you
that this story that is me
 thank you
that I am the love you feel
thank you
that i am the joy you give
thank you
 that you are the air I breathe
thank you
thank you
i am
you

hzt

so now we talk of power
\
everyone ..everything you perceive is your choice of being


i would rather you would know yourself- rather
 than choose power.
life


LIFE is spectrum. it is everyhting possible and shared .iy is a gift born of spirit ...a.k.a LOVE

POWER though
is Focus

you must use all you know for only one .thing,,,,AND this thing , IS ,POWER

Be one thing only and you are a blade brought into being

yoy will last for a moment
then


......game

























choose one way .AND only that way


 do not be temperate ,do not be logical , do not be clever////just live fort he end results ..and it will be done . no doubts right? your first lesson will be alienation..than "i am a fucking Idiot"

sky

this is the seed that grows
this is the winged beasts
in the wind that blows
this is my educated philosophy in platos cove
this is the  tour, the  declaration of your intelligence
as seen on the  wall and  against mine
this is my response.


sweet!


 coz only in response is there communication
only in echoes are realities rebound
i do not decry your earnest endeavours
 I simply suggest that these endeavours are born of tides that you barely surf


it is your wave
it is your board
it is your yullulation
that breaks up the skies
and calls kindred spirits to the moment that you discover


......one more time


this is you.
 but what  you know as you ..
this 2.5   percent path.. is not all


i have no proof unless you want to see things that dont fit




yup ..its all hubris
 but you must have felt it too


the connection where there is none
 the cry in the wild that a few months  after seems to have been your own call home


the choices made for no reason except your gut , but from which your new found wisdom is built
not mathematics
no logics
 not "enlightment'
just unity with God/ess that IS




the distance made near
the things that you need made clear
the foolishness in your heart made into fear
and in burning fields ..after the dust has cleared
you find your sudden ,urgent path. into the clear fields
 and cough your lungs clear of all the bullshit that you thought was you


yes I HAVE SEEN THIS


and i know you have too

u

so...hmm.. i am really, really giddy. From where i stand everything is shaken and hangs loose . its like a
a convergence of belief and realities. and umm ..
and the only one i can tell is You

 so thank you for being there, i guess .
uhm
i wish i was more articulate  ..more ..elaborate.  I... wish I could express to you exactly what i feel. how exactly i view things . how my blood pumps so to speak :).i am made aware of how unique each creation is . How even the semblance of homogeneity is a staggering and majestic miracle .
That in All that Is . IN all infinities ,THERE IS A CHORD IN  HARMONY . The linguistics will recognize an accord in my words, the kabbalists will find GOD ,the mystics will know what is coming next  and the true souls will create it. and i guess the crazy people will say welcome home !!
 but i digress

i am wary of  any attempt to do that though

i am aware that once you see the light you can never unsee it. once you know it was always you and this explosion is nuclear enveloping the illusion of past and present Both. Each and every now is a rewrite of EVERYTHING. just to allow you to experience this particular NOW .
and humanity as a persistent drug
loved beyond all others
it is a culmination of events that redefines all others
it is the clearest echo
the only
THE only
only remaining echo of the oritronic orgasm
of that loudest and most singular sound. That cause and  first event and occasion. The Ecstasy

I AM

once you know anything you are "changed"

all knowledge is a seduction

and Sophia is the loveliest of whores

she will give anyone of herself

and once you have had a taste of her You are never the same

I want you to be you.( i know this sounds silly but i do . i don't care about your dreams and aspirations . i only care about this moment . for here is the seed that grows . here is the place where infinities are spawned ,dreams are born and all children call home. here is where everything you are IS . in kernel form . concentrated . and if i can embrace you now . Completely . without reservations or limitations. without any separation  i hold all of you. and you are an infinity of wonder .and where does my care stand . what place does it have in this wonderful and amazing presence it is like claiming to care about a galaxy OR a mountain when all you really do is stand in awe and appreciate that you were lucky and blessed enough to be present... Of course there are other angles . other perceptions present . both micro and macro. each and every one transcendent
 but this is only text. stop fucking with my bandwidth and give your ego a time out )

AND I WANT TO BE the one who accepts you !
unconditionally.
totally
so that  when we share stories
we will be able to laugh and shed authentic tears
because  we Know!
 exactly how it feels to be us
exactly what it takes to see in certain ways
and how excellent and perfect is that   being .


and when all is said  and done
we go back to the first cause
all father, mother, godess
the love that birthed us all and gave us name
Names before all names
And WORD before all words
sight before we could see
the love that is all and anything

our womb

transorm  tree,  exponentially built

Ygdrssl

branches everywhere

fractaly reaching and creating infinities

numbers and algorithms. in one orgasmic gasp.
and there was FIREWORKS!..ok ok Light!

ok?
(freakin  prudes )



 like all of us
needing to be human
the definitions
give a sense of belonging
the ape sounds that spring from our lips
the eloquence of our ignorance
stamped and sealed
The stories we tell ourselves
because we are these creations
of "sense"
 chemical reactionaries
i am not slamming or taking "us " for granted

i just feel that "us " has had its day
and this is the apocalypse we have been 'wake' dreaming of.
We are about to meet the alien . that we need /must become
we have to find our gods.
all the souls that have ever been born are here right now .
our billions and billions are the raising of the dead

transition requires us to be present for our own annihilation
all must be made new
for we have exhausted this way of being
In infinities of dimensions we have been THIS
and now we will be ELSE

it is going to be the scariest and most exhilarating thing ever
          And we will be new creatures!!

of course this is bullshit
how else can i spout this

...Lol
your comprehension is not required
"presence is catalyst"
my propaganda has done its job

and if you are "here"
your choice was already made
the light takes no prisoners
what you know IS  YOU now
oops sorry
oops welcome
oops what was your name ?
..
Thats my name too
and we all share this frame
name
game
identity
body
universe
ID
Love
thought
light


but this is just a story too!
what elevates us is our reconnection into larger and larger wholes
what we are is a soul jamming musical chord that always reaches for the crazier note and new half of a half beat
that we haven't tasted touched or sang before

let there be 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tis love .

its this love that I am feeling!
....i am this love that is feeling


I am this trap of cold and dark matter . that allows a Refined and pure LOVE to shine like the morning star.
We call it venus 
we cal it the goddess of love 
We KNOW!!A
and hence we are 




the whole point is to have an "Awakening"
this is what is denied us by "darkness"
this is the Order we "feel" and know we must escape


this is why the wild and the crazy and the sublime  feels chaotic..
whale songs and dolphins in the deep
the unexpected note in Aria 
the space between a jazz beat
and the discord of the perfect chord
breadcrumbs all to our true desire
.passion is self 
the chaos is our infinite playground
And order BINDS




this is not discourse on evil 
or any label that encloses and imprisons




pay attention to the fact that destruction feels like glee and pleasant release..


its a discordant note of rebellion .
 an inner knowledge that demands you be free


an inner vision that says
 I need to be ME
and the limits are MINE only 
not bonds that can be thrown on me

smile. your on camera!

everything you SEE is your story ,your love  your most intimate self

everything that is .Is within you. It is your call into that
silence
your light in the darkness
your creation Is your heart

what is, is evidence of your passing

there is none greater Or more bountiful than you

so you see "evil"
So you see "god"
So You see" truth"
but all you really see is you!
a whole lot of you
in ways that defy description
in ways that beg"description"

This is the greatest love story ever told .
the paradox
the rings left behind your coffee cup
its nothing but evidence of your particular experience

Burn
Die
Kill
 is no more weightier that
empathy
Joy
compassion

its scary to know this
its also wonderful to "Know" this

everything is the the light within
everything is the love we bring
everything is intimately "US"
don't be shy about calling it "me!"
me is the only way to comprehend this
me  is the way . the truth
and a particular and unique light
"Me !" is a peculiar  amber moment captured in time.
 and when me is fully devoured
in Kali's insatiable glee

what is always left
Is a new ME!


so arguments.....
everything you know about conciousness IS wrong
YEt everything is true

Yes there is a God
as long as you need sustenance
yes, everything is subjective
Until you use "will" to be objective(ironic huh!)
existence is duality and polarity .And the degrees of the many !
Until you contain it all as the One
that; 'Life is a dream
 a pleasant fiction(?)'
.....now that is just daft...a semantic limitation

It is all chaos ....

                                   till you recognize cause

...then realize cause is a convenient fiction > and perceptions tool.

you Will never meet anything greater Than you . because meeting requires comprehension . and what you comprehend  defines and IS you . for as long as that moment lasts

all we Want Is light.
All we are is the limits we set on it
all we can be is everything

any more i write is wrong and vain and hubris..
all i am is LOVE ,loving itself into being. A selfish.honest Act of play.










--------------------------
this life that we know
is but a thin skein. the surface tension on a deep ocean
the ripples we see and feel are born out of fathoms of "incomprehensible depth'
it allows us our lightness of being
. and our incomprehension . or disbelief does not make the grandeur and depth any less so
. It is but an artifact of our being..
every now and then
               we will notice the echoes  that ping form this vastness
                                                                                         . and we are moved 

I AM is discourse

learning the topology . the landscape . realizing that comprehension has very little to do with knowing ... until u realize that there are levels of comprehension.. existence and harmony ARE !


the way you see a thing has got nothing to do with the thing but has everything to do with you!
Perception is NOT truth
 it is  a way of being/feeling.
what is ..is all . ..this sounds trite . this sounds deep . this sounds like BS ... ...welcome to THAT!
your level of comprehension has nothing to do with reality . intelligence is Id's Choice...is relative . it is like your appreciation of " Blue" ,
We Is at this moment everything . and now we feel this way or that way.. or come to communion in a particular now .. from here we tell a story . causality is a joyful tool . it is an illusion that allows ways of non being---suspension of reality. of disbelief(?)


we all are slaves to affection. ultimate self..ness. ultimate self indulgence. we revel in the dark and our interpretations of shadow.


separation though limited allows us to play depth in a shallow pond . currency of description in place of true solid manifest ..Smoke(?)

musing

I am noticing an increased affinity to plants, trees flowers and grasses. I notice their vibrance and feel an extra layer or a greater intensity of colour freshness and life when I am among them or looking at them consciously or not. The colours seem to pop. The scents slow me in my tracks and their vibrance calls to me and makes me sway with them in the breeze.




This coincides with my silence.



A new born silence where even my own thoughts and musings can be an unwelcome intrusion. A lover who I would love to avoid for no reason other than the attraction of that space where nothing is me, mine, mined moaned or moved.



Probably coincidence, but do feel the flowers and the trees, breeze or no breeze. I feel them. I respect them I want to know what they know and for the few moments before I attempt to articulate, I feel that I do. Somehow I feel that place where no harm is done. Where all life is nurtured and giving in endless refrain. And before articulation there is no name for the type or size of 'Give' that is shown. It is a gracious welcoming, like a love splendid and fat with affection. A taste that is beyond taste because the thing savored is all selfness before it knows so.


The breeze caressing the slumbering form. The leaves drinking and basking as they exhale life on the earth itself .

dudue did i pop a vessel ?! hehe