i just talked to my mother after a long long time
she says to call my brother
 its been a long long time

i don't know how she does it
 reminds me to be alive
 may be its her heart beat
 whose rhythm recalls mine
or the  harmony and cadence of her voice
 or maybe its her  breathe of life
that allows me to inhale
and exhale
all THIS !

so anyway .
I Am

u are(my brother)

most times i am only what you have allowed me
 and at other times  i am the denial of every great and wondrous thing i am because of your unending wondrous eye


trust that I am not ignoring this
 but actually cherishing this
trust that
in this self made hell
I have mined god
 not selfishly
 not wantonly
but dutifully

i have found myself at the dark end of a tunnel
 i have lost myself in desperation
yet found myself in the debris
hope littered and truth bound

I am not what I wanted to be by any account
I am what I needed to be
there is no evil in me