i guess what i am realizing
which I've always known but never truly allowed myself to acknowledge is the power of mind over matter
and how so much of what matters to you is due to the little overgrown imp called EGO.

mind can be harmless entertainment
So can ego
but when these two have been all you have defined yourself as...well
welcome to the terrible twos as moms with toddlers love to say
they will scream in unison demanding and decrying until you give in
but you mustn't
wish it was as easy as typing these sentences
i have spiralled into the same fractal corral of consciousness
been leashed to the same tree spinning in discovery of "new" and "fresh" . till the leash tugs and i realise i have been caught in the wheel all along