here .now

It only takes me 3  words ! (Only three!)  into every verse before I realize that  I am SO wrong( i.e  being untrue. not lying ,consciously  but buffering ..yup! ou immoral basterds hehe!) . it only takes me the time to post "epiphanous bliss", to let me know that I am talking shit.. but I do experience this. eh?

What I experience as everlasting and divine I cannot tell you definitively. I do not hold it in my hands. I can barely contain it and even when coerced , i cannot pass it on . sorry sweetheart. only One of a billion sperm attain jiggyness.

To be with the divine is to be ever present ..even when seeking ,you are present. ..OK call bullshit!

but the next time you ask a question be entranced by the path the "answering " takes you ,
When you want to know, be invested in the question and the way you get your answer......if you truly want to know something . know that you are daring yourself . to have the experience of that knowledge. 


there is nothing you can conceive of seeking that you are not capable of finding

 . to seek. then move beyond seeking and live expectantly(a grand adventure indeed) then to move beyond even that and perceive as continually as you are willing to. in full knowledge ,expectant and seeking that  which is beyond the veil that is you .
This is the true fabric of the 'real'.
There is a need within as all to compensate for our perceived failing/healing/disease/achieve. Phantasms of imagination. these are true but like sweet candy they are the least of what is you.
the reality of every day life . if accepted without prejudice, without expectation other than true curiosity and passion, Is True. your imagination unfettered by want , inadequacy or compensation,is True. you are always true , if you can be here ;NOW. accept and integrate each moment , biological, electrical and cognitive, Muscular, sensate, and imaginative, without wishful embellishment. you do not need Hope , which is toxic you need Faith. that you are here is reason enough to begin your appreciation of what is . And devining what it means to you . you being your attitudes . and your environment and your desires and drives within this environment,
your self speak in tongues . tongues of culture, language ,desire, touch, memory and curiosity ,sex. emotion,confusion, religion, wonder, science, abuse, trauma, laughter, joy, reward, perception, dimension,knowledge. etc.etc..

 its all vortex. a purified trap of sensibilities... but then? maybe... I need a new vocab.solitude once empowering, separates me from us. . but i am still in love with all this . the growing pains, the decaying transcendence, the dance of life . Shiva, Arjuna . lord god. Yesu Chhristu. and if you WANT in capital letters YHVH... if you are not ready ,u r not here. a place of predation par excellence. or unified intent under will.

And LOVE allows all this .

everything exists . what we call real , is just the intersection of most agreement.....give me a chance .. no give yourself a chance to expand on all of this

its all true . ;)